The Good Guys, The Greatest of Good Guys

While driving onto base today, I noticed the water table. Hadn't thought about why it was there, other than it was for runners or walkers, but why? Continued on with my errands. Once finished, I was headed back out the gate, along perimeter road. I noticed the bicycle at the end where I turn, then I saw them. I saw the men and women walking with their ruck sacks on in nearly 90 degree weather. I saw them in clusters, I saw them in ones and twos, then I saw the fireman in full gear. It only took a second for me to realize what and why, even less time for those unbidden tears to fall. POW MIA KIA Walk of Remembrance. Those walkers are walking to remember our lost and missing, our deceased and forever loved. They do not walk for attention or thanks, or for the glory. They walk to remind us someone is still waiting for remains, for the official notification to start their grieving, for the privilege to remember a hero.  While I waved to let them know I see their reminder, my little girl is waving and saying, Good Guys, Good Guys, Momma. This time the tears flowed. I told her, yes, baby, those are the Good Guys, remembering the other Good Guys. She is only 2 and will not have any memory, but I will. I will and I will make sure that she knows and remembers too. She will know about the Good Guys, we hear them take off and land every day, we pass the base and she hollers, Good Guys, Bye-bye (cause she knows they are going to work), I tell her, yes, they're ALL the Good Guys! The ones that get those planes and helicopters in and out of the air, load the weapons, ship the packages, fix the plumbing, make sure the phones and computers work, heal the sick, clean the roads after a storm, make sure all the paperwork gets to the right place, ships our car, makes sure the grocery store has our food, sorts our mail, provides a place for us to play and bowl and watch movies, makes sure we have some place safe to worship, keeps our country safe, and protects our rights and freedoms, those my love, those are the Good Guys. The ones walking are reminding us of the Good Guys that are not here any longer, but they are still the Good Guys, in fact, they are the Greatest of the Good Guys and we will always remember the Good Guys. Never Forgotten, POW MIA KIA, you are the Good Guys, thank you, NEVER FORGOTTEN! 






If we are friends on facebook, then you might have seen this. If we are not, I am sorry. I do not re-post this to draw any attention to me or my writing. I re-post this because my heart is full and heavy for those Good Guys, the ones not returning to their lives and loves. Those that have arms waiting for them, babies to be held, children to be kissed, spouses to be snuggled, parents to beam with pride, siblings to tease, grandparents to dote, memories to make and years to be lived, yet never will. 


I am a military wife. I married the service. I knew the cost that might be exacted of me, and I married anyway. Our troops sign on the dotted line knowing what it might cost them and us, and they proudly serve, with honor and distinction. They serve knowing someone has to stand up to the face of tyrrany, oppression, and violated civil rights. They serve to keep war from our land and our homes. They serve whether they agree with the elected leaders or not, they serve to defend the Constitution and the rights it provides and protects. 


The Bible states that there is no greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for a friend. It makes me think, is that a friend that you know, or is that any person? Its hard to die for those you love, even harder to die for those that hate you, or disrespect you. The death of each and everyone of our military members is sacred and should be honored, honored until time ends. Today on this day that we honor those that are lost, and not yet recovered, those that have been locked up and have endured the unimaginable and inhumane treatment, and those lost in Action, we honor your life and sacrifice. You are never forgotten! To those families and friends, we will NEVER FORGET! 


Those of our POW MIA KIA, you are the Greatest Good Guys and are loved more than red poppies! 

FAT! LOVE the FAT!

Ok, so this is a new soap box for me, but I hope you like it.....




BOOBS! TaTa's! BREASTS! Tities! KNOCKERS! BoooBooo's! JUGS! Melons! ITYBITYTITIES!


Its funny, people have a million names for them! The one that makes me laugh is this new I gave them, FAT!


Really, they are fat! Some milk ducts, but mostly just fat! I mean, FAT! You know, the stuff you trim off your steak, or season your food with?! You know, the stuff everyone wants to lose and heads to the gym to 'shred'! I have a cousin, perfect hourglass shape! She has a nice rack, as most call it! Except, she lost it, ALL OF IT! Her body fat got so low, just from workouts and diet changes, that she lost ALL of her boobs! I mean ALL of them! She was a nice full D cup, now she barely needs an A. She was wearing a size 4 very nicely, but she is now a size 0. She is not much over 5'2" either, so she does not look emaciated, she just has muscle where there once was fat. But that also means she has lost her 'womanly' fat too! She told me, who knew changing my diet would make me lose the one area of fat I wanted to keep?! I told her its all overrated. She laughed and said, sure it is, you have enough for 10 women! True, but its still fat!


I do happen to have a lot of fat, in several places! I know women that have told me, man! I just want your boobs for a few months! Then I can wear what I want, I can make my husband happy, I can feel sexy, pretty and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!  STOP IT! I just want to scream at them! GAIN SOME WEIGHT! AND, rejoice over these facts: YOU CAN WEAR ANY BRA, MADE BY ANYONE, FROM ANY STORE IN ANY COLOR, DESIGN AND FABRIC YOU WANT! YOU CAN BY YOUR DRESS SIZE AND NOT WORRY ABOUT THE TOP NOT FITTING! YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR 3 SIZES BIGGER ON TOP THAN YOU ARE ON BOTTOM, CAUSE NO ONE MAKES CLOTHES FOR FAT!


I know I am yelling, but really, come on! Its JUST fat! If I could lose it I would. Some would gain it there if they could, some do, surgically! Men are obsessed with it! Its insane! The reason we have those things, in all manner of shapes and sizes it to FEED CHILDREN! The whole point is to make sure our children get the nourishment they need! I understand a side benefit is our husbands, uh, hem, enjoyment and to make our clothes lay nicely too! BUT, their main purpose is to feed our children.


Why is it that sexy is related to our boob fat? Why isn't sexy related to our hearts and our capacity to love, to be generous, to give of ourselves to those that need us and love us? Why is our sexy not related to our love for Christ and his lost children?! Why is our sexy not related to our intellect? In our humble hearts that seek to honor and obey and love our husbands? In our passion for serving those around us? I say we should redefine sexy. It should have NOTHING whatsoever to do with our physical physique and everything to do with our hearts, our minds and our spirits! I mean, if you were to lose your 'sexy fat' ie boobs, would you then cease to 'be sexy'?! NO! Sexy is in your heart, your mind, your spirit, the one God gave you and blessed you with! The one that all true God fearing men love, and find irresistible!


Lets see fat for what it is, insulation, heavy and irritating, hard to manage, and something to be lost and managed, some thing that makes for good baby food, good resting spots for sleeping babies and toddlers, sick children and a nice snuggle for spouses! Nothing sexy about that! Just practical and soft! LOL! We need to find our purpose in the design for Gods creation and celebrate it for the reason God gave it to us. If your breasts have never fed a child, that does not remove their purpose. If you have never born a child, their purpose is still intended, just not fully realized. If your breasts have never been a zone of comfort for a sick toddler, they still have a purpose! Mostly, a snuggle for your spouse, yes, that is one of their purposes. The life expectancy of that job, is about 50 years give or take.....


I just can't help but laugh sometimes at how much importance we put on silly stuff! Like fat! I mean, really! Its just fat! You know, like the stuff we trim from our steaks, pay more for fatless chicken, drain off our ground beef, put in our green beans (bacon grease), put in our turkey's to make them not dry, avoid in our salad dressings, have taken out of our milk, our cheese, our yogurt, our bacon, steak, orange juice (its not in there), make sure we go to the gym to burn it off. BUT, we head to the surgeon to have him make it look like we have it! I mean, women pay BIG BUCKS to have fat in their chests! They call it silicone, or saline implants, but what they are really attempting to do is look FAT! LOL!




So, I say, depending on how much God has given you, or you have cultivated by lifestyle, take a moment to thank God for that fat! Regardless of how much you have or don't have, its just fat! Lets start a LOVE THE FAT revolution!


If we see ourselves and each other as God sees us, His children, then we will not be hung up on FAT! Whether we have it in our boobs, our butts, our legs, our bellies, our foreheads, our noses, our eyeballs or our big toes, we will see the person inside that God rejoices over with singing!


Take a moment and enjoy the view, take in Gods beautiful scenery, with new eyes today. See those sexy ladies, carrying all that fat and remind them, they are some gorgeous red poppies, meant to be adored! FAT AND ALL! XOXO!

Traveling..... with a baby, while nursing, running into women, traveling, with children.......

I had the privilege to travel to the states with my dh and dd for a wonderful vacation! 3 weeks of cable tv and FAST internet! Heaven!

I am not sure if any of you have had the 'privilege' of flying into JFK airport from outside of the United States. Its not as glamourous as I grew up thinking.
JFK! Let me just tell you, I HATE THAT AIRPORT! I have been into and out of almost 500 airports in my life and that is the ONE I pray and hope and PLAN and PAY to not EVER have to travel through again!
We had a 6 hour layover. I was irritated about having SUCH a long layover and WHAT and how are we going to entertain Little Miss for that long in SOME airport?! Well, we had just enough time to grab a SUPER quick bite and head to our gate. SERIOUSLY, 6 hours! Once we got cleared from customs and rechecked BACK into security, and located our GATE CHECKED stroller, AND found our gate, we had 45 minutes before boarding started! The WHOLE point of a gate checked stroller, is to have it WAITING for you to strap the child into to help you maneuver through the quagmire that is international travel!


While we were on our adventure from the depths of deepest darkest Gehenna, I came across some moments of true beauty and deep suffering.


I have traveled alone with an infant and baby, and a toddler. Most of which have been internationally. I have had the luxury of knowing the languages and monies and mostly the cultures of the locations ahead of time, or from previous trips. I can tell you, we need to pay more attention to our fellow women travelers.
My heart broke as I witnessed the callous and harsh treatment of my fellow mothers and women. By not just other foreigners, but my AMERICANS and those in the service industry.


While on our trip through Gehenna, pushing our luggage, finding our way through the maze that is JFK, I listened to this airport worker just be mean and cruel to a woman trying to find a change machine so she could get a cart. My dh was leading the pack and I was pushing our half sleeping baby in her finally found stroller. I was a good momma, stayed close, kept to myself and kept a lookout for 'strange stuff'. I walked past. Until I heard that momma say, I just need help, any help, please help. She was summarily dismissed.
I told our daddy, stop. I need my wallet.


I had done laundry for our trip. Nothing unusual. Most of us do. My Italian washer takes over an hour and a half to wash 1 2.5 kg load of clothes. In other words, 3 large towels and 2 hand towels and 3 wash cloths. NO JOKING. It takes a LONG time. So, with 6 loads of clothes, I went to the laundromat.
I had my dh get me $40 in quarters. Never know how much I need. Needless to say, I had a LOT of left over change. I knew I could use it later and so, CRAMMED it into my tiny wallet! It weighed 5 pounds! I never have more than $2 left over, of the 3 times I have been to the laundromat, in 10 years.


I grabbed my wallet and turned Little Miss around and headed back to the now crying mother. I asked her if she needed change. She said yes, but all she had was a $10 bill. I just pulled out $2 in quarters and told her, hope this helps. We both cried and I noticed that worker lady hang her head. I walked away lighter in the pocket, but richer in spirit and heart. It felt good, really good!
We meandered and I found a vending machine. I got some candy and a drink. I still had change left.
We found ourselves in the baggage claim and there was this beautiful woman in her scarf and headdress, she was DRESSED nicer than anything I own! Her little man was just too cute! He was running in circles around her feet and laughing. She was bone weary tired. She attempted to use the phone, but the call did not go through and she lost her coins.
She asked 5 people for help. None even looked at her. The SkyCap didn't even acknowledge her. Her little man just giggled. She had passed all of the currency changers. She passed all of the businesses to make change of her american money. She just needed to make a phone call. I made my way to her. I said, do you need help? She told me how she has american money, but does not know how much is enough to trade for the coins to call. She had 2 $1 bills and then dug around for more. I told her about my change and she can have $2 in coins for her smaller bills. The phone ate that up and she was still no better off. I told her, I have more. So, she pulled out $100 bill and said will this make a call? I let her know, it will make many and not to show or ask anyone else, but she needed to get some change as that is a lot of money. She was embarrassed. I told her, its ok, its hard to know this if its not your home country. She told me it was her first time in America and this was her new home. Her husband had sent for them, he was waiting to come pick them up, for her to call him.
I pulled every piece of change I had in my wallet out and handed it all to her, to make sure she had enough. She called him, and tried to give the money back, I said no, its your welcome to america gift, one mother to another. She tried to tell me it was too big of a gift. I told her, its just a few coins. She said, no its freedom.




Its hard traveling with a child. Hard as the only parent. People are watching and judging and NO one wants to be bothered to help, or even smile. But what are we saying to the mothers and their children if we can't offer a hand to hold an arm baby while the mother goes potty? Or washes her hands in the airport? Or entertains a whiney baby while mom calls dad? Or grabs a run away from a bone-weary tired traveling momma? Or gets her luggage down from the overhead bin while she attempts to dislodge the carseat from the plane seat? Or opening the stroller that is actually at the gate check waiting to carry her bags and child? Or holds up the blanket so the nursing mother can fix her shirt that got puked on in the seat?


Moms shape the emotional responses of their children that will one day become the adults that ignore the mothers traveling with the new little people that are becoming the new adults, that will become tomorrows parents. We have a responsibility as mothers, as sisters in this journey of life.


When you touch the heart of a mother, you change the future and add a little tenderness, a little love, a little kindness to the world, just by noticing that she needs a smile, a hand, or some quarters.


There are red poppies blooming all over the world. Can you see them? Momma's that need just that little something, little blooms opening, waiting to see if someone notices their bright spot on this day....... I love red poppies. 

Let me fill you in on what you have missed, or better, what I have not posted....

It sure has been a long time since my last post. More than a year. Since that post I have been on so many trips, some good, some stressful, some relaxing and some just plain tiring.


My dh was so wonderful as to send me to my parents while he took a vacation to the desert. Isn't that wonderful?! While in 'the land of plenty' as we tend to call the USA, I had the pleasure of seeing almost all of my family. Little Miss and I traveled the Eastern Seaboard from Tampa to Atlanta so many times, I can almost tell you where to stop to potty and where NOT to!




I can tell you, that like those red poppies I love, you never know how resilient you are until there is a storm. I had times I thought I was going to be blown off the planet, either by single-parenting, which is for the birds, or from internal stresses. You never know how good or bad of a parent you are until you are under a microscope. Now, I am NOT saying I am a bad parent! No way! I am only stating that its just hard to have people you love speaking into your life during times like this. They know about your situation. But they are not LIVING it and do not KNOW what it is like. Trying to be mom and dad while dealing with MILES between you, SUCKS! I mean, I am the FUN parent! I am NOT the bad guy! I hate making rules, or enforcing them! Let me tell you, it is hard and frustrating and angering, and shows you how immature you really are! I mean, WHO argues with a 20 month old? A tired and worn out momma! It gets harder and harder to listen to all of the advice you hear. I mean, they mean well, and have my best at heart and love Little Miss more than they do me. That is not in doubt. In fact, if that was in doubt, I can tell you, I would have been back here, WAY earlier! Knowing how loved we were and cherished sure helped. So did SKYPE!


Ok, so we were blessed to SKYPE our daddy some times 2 or more times a day! I know, spoiled! There were some times though that we did not get to see him or even get an email from him. Those were harder than the parenting moments. I gave myself 48 hours of no contact before I started to freak out. Only had 1 epic freak out. And it had NOTHING to do with my hunny! LOL! Little Miss LOVED seeing her daddy on the computer! Depending on her activity, she either fed the computer a banana, or read a book, sometimes even looked behind it to find the rest of her daddy! She would kiss him and hug the screen. She would sit and color while I talked. We would eat with him. Several times, he would read to us before bed and sing a song with us. It was NOT the same, but it was nice!


Sadly, our daddy missed our trip to the ER for the split in Little Miss' head! We were headed shopping to some great little store in Atlanta. I called her to the closet to get her coat on, it was January and CHILLY. She was so excited! She LOVES to shop! She ran toward me and I was holding the door open so she could grab her coat. She tripped on her feet and hit her head right on the open face of the door edge. She screamed! I told her, its ok, baby and picked her up. She was STILL screaming. I thought, well, you are not hurt that bad, just fell on your knees. I sat on the bed with her to console my baby, and I saw her SKULL! I SCREAMED at my mother, GET IN THE CAR, RIGHT NOW! She was gathering up her stuff to leave as it was, she did not know what was going on. I started to PANIC. Here I am in this new town, CITY, and I don't even know where I am, or how to get to somewhere I know, or where to GO even if I did know any of that! I am seriously PANICKING! I mean, starting to get clammy and queasy. My mom is STILL NOT IN THE CAR! I SCREAM even LOUDER, GET IN THE CAR! She says, I am coming, its not that bad, its not even bleeding....
I told her, I know, its too deep to bleed, I can SEE HER SKULL! LET'S GO! She says, ok, here is a band-aid. Little Miss is no longer screaming, just doing that little hiccup inhale cry whimper of the screamed out. Well, until her momma starts hollering cause we are STILL NOT IN THE CAR! I tell my mom, I am going to call 911! LETS GO! She gets us in the car, we have only been with them for 5 days, and I plug in the GPS. It still thinks its in Tampa! GRRRR! Little Miss is still whimpering.... crying, says to her head, owwwwie....
Its now been HOURS since the event, more like 5 minutes, and we are FINALLY leaving the apartment. We head to the nearest ER, once we get the GPS in the correct city and state! Less than 4 miles! FINALLY! We pull up and Little Miss and I bail! My mom follows right behind me. We check in, go straight back and get her head x-rayed. No broken bones, no fractures or anything, OTHER THAN THE GAPING WOUND ON HER FOREHEAD! So, we wait for the injection of numbing medicine, Little Miss keeps pointing to her head and saying owwie. She is hungry and scared and her head hurts and I can DO nothing cause she cannot eat until they do this! Have I mentioned that the wound has swollen, not bled, and is an inch and a half tall?! It looks like she has a purple half a golf ball on her head with a giant gash in the center!
So, the mean, not really, nurse comes in and wraps my punkin in a sheet like a mummy! The doctor comes in too and stabs, not true, her in the head with this liquid and makes the gash swell even more and NOW it bleeds! It pours! (five drops) Thankfully they have covered it and Little Miss is no longer saying OWWWIE! After what felt like 2 hours, 15 minutes, they return to mummy-fy my girl and then stitch her up. 2 WHOLE sutures! She screams her head off, I cry, my momma tries to console us both, but no avail!
We get our discharge papers, cool blue gloves, and a nice bandage on her head! Thankfully the wound was more of a smash then a slice. Doctor said,  the smash kept it from bleeding and prevented all of us from FREAKING OUT! I LAUGHED! I asked, PREVENTED?! I think that is a relative word. I attempted to be calm for Little Miss. BUT, it was SOLELY my responsibility to keep her safe. AND solely on me to TELL HER DAD! I mean, HOW! He is in the desert!
Preventative emails. I let him know, we would be unavailable to SKYPE, this weekend, running around to do and yada yada! I was stalling. He knows me well enough to know I will tell him, just have to phrase it right and figure out HOW. I PRAYED. REALLY PRAYED.
On the second day after the event, remember, we SKYPE TWICE daily, I sent an email. Yes, I am a chicken. BUT, I know my hunny well enough to know that he needs time to process it all and VENT! AND NOT WHILE HEARING THIS LIVE ON THE COMPUTER WHILE ON VACATION IN THE DESERT!
I warned, Firstly: everyone is FINE.
Then briefly and calmly and without ANY embellishments, WITHOUT ANY EMBELLISHMENTS, gave him the bullets.
I waited to hear from him.
Day one, nothing.
Day two, nothing.
Day three, starting to REALLY freak out! 48 hour rule of  mine.........
LATE on day three, email response, or internet has been down since you sent me the information about Little Miss' head, GLAD you are both fine. Cannot wait to SKYPE you, Know she is in the best hands and sorry you had to deal with this without me. You are a wonderful wife and incredible mother.
I CRIED LIKE A BABY! Remember me praying, I mean PRAYING?! I took 2 days to tell him and God gave me 3 more! I did panic, but only cause I was ready to hear from him and heard nothing, not even an acknowledgement of the incident.
FINALLY, we got to see our daddy! Little Miss HUGGED and kissed him and tried to hold him! She showed him her head. He was not happy, but said, glad we got it taken car of so quickly and hope there is no visible scar. (I have a hard time finding it, and I KNOW where it is)


That was a tough event. God knew what I needed and gave it to me. I may seem like some tissue thin, well, I am kinda fat, delicate and waif of a red poppy, but I can still be seen waving in the wind, with my face to heaven waiting for the SON to shine on me, even  in the rain of life.


See?! I love red poppies......